Just thought I'd let anyone who is following my blog know that I also have a Facebook page. It features my blog posts, my YouTube videos, motivational pics, and random posts. I'm working on linking to other weight loss pages on it, too. So if you are on Facebook, feel free to follow my page on it: http://www.Facebook.com/WLS4Tina
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Today wasn't so good. Ate Ham, stuffing, and gravy for breakfast(was supposed to be our Christmas dinner). Ham and eggs for lunch. Then we had chicken nuggets and fries for dinner. Oh and can't forget the sweets after dinner. So I was about 1000 calories over what I am to eat daily! I haven't stepped on the scale in days, since I was working on losing the weight I gained last week. I was back down to 403#! I'm sure that I can kiss that goodbye! I really need to get a hold of my emotional eating!
Christmas was okay. It was just my husband, brother, and I. My brother didn't come downstairs except to bring a box of chocolates he got for Christmas and to eat his Christmas dinner of chicken nuggets and fries. A couple of friends stopped by with some gifts. I got a couple of bottles of nail polish and hubby got ten dollars from them. Things we weren't expecting and now I feel bad for not getting them anything but a card. Hubby and I buy our Christmas presents whenever and don't even wrap them. I got The Vow on DVD, two nail polish kits from Walmart and makeup that I ordered off of Amazon. I don't get out much due to the pain in my knees, so I do 98% of my shopping online. Hubby got Men In Black 3 on blueray, a 10-inch Android tablet like mine, a case for it, a blue tooth headset, a case for it, and some Cologne. Then we got a few Xbox 360 games for my brother and he gave us money to buy what we wanted. Hubby bought a surround sound sound bar with subwoofer, and I got a lighted battery-operated Makeup mirror along with some of the Fructise fall fight hair products. They had a gift bag with four different products for $10. Couldn't pass that up as they are about $5 a piece, normally. I bought it for use when I have my weight loss surgery. Trying to get a head start on the hair loss! Already taking Biotin!
I guess I don't get into the Christmas spirit much. We really had no room to put up a tree and we rarely do because of the cats and dogs. We give each other our presents before Christmas and don't wrap them. The only family we have to spend Christmas with is ourselves. I see pictures of others celebrating Christmas with their families and feel sorry for myself. I miss my parents. I am not going to have children, even after I lose weight. I am not going to deal with a teenager while in my sixties! So, it'll be this way for the rest of our lives. We're pretty much excluded from anything our extended family does. I feel uncomfortable at the gatherings, anyhow. I'm too fat and my knees hurt too bad to get around and socialize. Therefore, hubby, bro, and I usually sit alone. We need to start our own traditions. Maybe make room for a tree and wrap gifts so we have something to do on Christmas day.
Well, I think hubby is ready for bed and I should get ready, too! Hope everyone had a great Christmas and has a Happy New Year! 2013 will be my year! Woot!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
My pain is getting worse, even with the weight loss. The other night, we went out to eat. I felt that I could make it without my walker. I was wrong. My knee gave out and I fell. In front of what felt like millions of people, who all had their eyes on me! The fat woman on the floor, who could not get up without the help of three other people! My dinner was shot! Even though I had a salad and a small bowl of cottage cheese, I still felt like everyone was judging me! Even though most of the people at the restaurant were large themselves! Some even had their own walkers! Then I realized that I was judging those people! I was so jealous of what they were eating!
1200 calories a day is killing me, but if I eat any more than that I can't lose weight! I eat a serving of lean meat, veggies, and fruit, for two meals, and a Greek yogurt for another! I'm supposed to have a cup of soy milk in between meals, but if I did I'd be over my calories! I can't workout because my knees are killing me! I believe the pain is worse because I re-injured myself trying to ride our exercise bike! I'd love to try water aerobics but I cannot afford to, nor can I get to a pool until next summer. Even then, I can't get in or out of our pool without the aid of two people! My knees are just that bad and there's nothing they can medically do until I lose weight! Sure, I take Vicodin, as needed, and an NSAID, daily, but they are not touching the pain, anymore! I didn't even bother asking for a different pain med when I saw my PCP, because I was afraid that she'd say my body was used to the Vicodin and if I was addicted to that, I'd be addicted to the new one! I didn't want to risk losing the Vicodin, because I know the pain is worse if I don't take it!
Neither one of my insurance companies are covering the visits for the medically supervised diet, the surgeon visit, the dietician, and probably not my sleep apnea, as it's all weight-related! If the PCP orders a test, or I have my birth control shot, they aren't covered because it's during my medically supervised diet, which is weight-related! The bills are starting to come in and I fear I won't be able to set up a payment plan with the hospital! Even if I do, they'll probably start wanting the money up front to see the surgeon or the dietician! Which, I can't afford to do! I regret going back to school and am even starting to regret starting this weight loss surgery journey! Thing is, if I don't go forward, I'll never be able to pay back the student loans or the appointments for the surgery! Then I'd be out a degree and still fat as a cow! I won't even get into how school is going! That's a whole other entry in itself!
I've decided to go with the vertical sleeve gastrectomy, despite the warnings I've been given that I won't lose all the weight I need to. The surgeon's staff has assured me that I could do it! All except the psychiatrist, anyhow! I have talked to people who have lost 200 - 300 pounds after having the VSG. It can be done! I'd be thankful to get down to 200 pounds after the surgery, just because I was comfortable at 235! I could move, I could drive, I could go out and have a life at that weight! I also want to lose the majority of the weight before I graduate in early 2014! If I wait to be eligible for the RNY, I might not do that. That and I couldn't afford it! Weight loss is expensive even if I weren't going for surgery! Healthy food is not cheap! Ever notice how the crappy frozen meals that don't even fill you up are cheaper than the lean cuisine, weight watchers, and now atkins ones? Someone out there secretly wants us to be fat! Mrs. Obama, look into why it's so expensive to buy the lower calorie, lower carb, and basically healthier food than the food that is bad for us, please? Okay, I shouldn't get political here. Some people on Facebook read this and God forbid if this sparks a political debate! Especially when the main topic isn't politics! Oh and a great big F-U if that even happens!
Okay, I'm getting off my soap box now! I got the remains of Garfield back today. My brother picked them up for me. He brought them into the bedroom for me to see, and I instantly started bawling! I know I need to get over it, but in my own time, I will! Let me have that time, please? The remains were in a plastic container, with his name on them, then those were inside a velvet bag that said, "Until we meet again, at the rainbow bridge." They, the place that cremated him, also gave me an envelope that had the Rainbow Bridge poem inside of it. How sweet of them!
BTW, I know I should be happy about it and I was until I fell that night, I lost 10 more pounds since I last saw my PCP. That makes 18 pounds I've lost since I first started seeing her, and 14 since I saw the surgeon. I have a little more than 18 pounds to go until I can think of having the surgery! I'm hoping to lose it by February and have the surgery in March! At least I hope so! If you made it through this entry, thank you for reading! I <3 you!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
I also met with the dietician this past week. She put me on a 1200 calorie diet plan, with low-carbs and low-fat. So far it is working out as I have not cheated since I started. I had been watching my calories prior to this, but was getting around 1600 calories in a day. This turned out to be too much because of my activity level. I basically have one serving of lean protein, one serving of vegetables and one of fruit for every meal. For "snacks" I have a glass of soy milk, as I am lactose-intolerant.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
I went to my psych eval on Tuesday. He asked questions about my diet history, how my weight has been all my life, how my childhood was, if I understood the complications of the surgery, and how I'd eat afterwards. Then he asked me if I could die from the surgery and I said, yes, but I am trying to concentrate on the positive. Then I told him that I am not worried about dying, just leaving behind my husband and my brother. He thought my calories that I aim for was too high, 1550, for my activity level. He recommended 1200, but to see what the nutritionist next week says. When I saw my psychiatrist, yesterday, she recommended 1000! Whoa! So I'm aiming for 1300 calories a day until I see the nutritionist.
Speaking of seeing my psychiatrist, she agreed to up my dosage of Wellbutrin and take me off the Celexa and Abilify. If I am to become hypomanic, I'll have to go back on the Abilify, though. So far, I am a little bit down, but it'll take time to adjust. I'm pretty positive I'll be fine, though.
I got a talking scale, today. Ordered it from Amazon.com. Thing is, it can't get it to talk, because my body shakes whenever I get on it! The reading on the scale keeps changing and doesn't stabilize because of my shaking! I guess I'll just have to have my husband look at the scale for me, still! When he weighs himself, it'll talk to him! *sigh*
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Despite my crappy eating, I've still lost four more pounds! That makes my total loss 11 pounds, so far! 29 more to go until I'll be ready for surgery! I only had to lose 37 to get below 400, but I want to lose more! Never know how much difference the surgeon's scale will be from mine or my primary care physician's!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Two goals I made for myself were to increase my time on the bicycle and to stop 'grazing!' I'm to meet these expectations before I see the doctor next month!
I was supposed to do fasting blood work today, but didn't fast. I was so hungry after I woke up from a nap last night! So, we ended up eating breakfast early. I will have to go next week on a day when hubby is off work!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
13. something old: my rosary beads. They're not too old, maybe ten years at the most. They've been blessed and were used in my father's casket during his viewing. The funeral home had them wrapped around his hands and they gave them to me, afterwards.
Monday, November 12, 2012
The exercise bike arrived today! It's really nice and high quality! I like it, but it's very hard for me to do right now! I barely made it two minutes because of my knees! It was like bones cracking in my right knee, I could hear the popping out loud even! I will probably take a pain pill prior to riding it next time! I really want to use it more! I didn't buy it for nothing! LOL!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
I see my primary care physician on Wednesday and will do my official weigh-in then. My scale says I gained, which I'll be mad if I did! I've been sticking to my calorie limit and eating like I should pre-op. Even though I don't have to 'til two weeks before the surgery! It's recommended by the dietician that we use it for a guideline for meal ideas and my friend said she followed it and lost weight. I did have breakfast at McDonald's this morning, though, but even so I should be within my calorie limit or not much above it. I allow myself 1550 calories a day.
Tomorrow, our exercise bike should be here! Once it's set up, I'm going to try it out. It's supposed to support 350 pounds, so hopefully it'll work out. I know I'm more than that, but I've used office chairs that support that amount of weight, successfully. We'll see! Using it will help me burn some calories, finally! :)
Friday, November 9, 2012
PS - after the cut is a bit TMI.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Saturday is my sleep study! I'm wide awake now, as hubby and I napped before grocery shopping early this morning. Hubby's sleeping, as he works nights. I usually keep his hours, but the sleep study is at night. I'm trying to sleep at night until then, so that I can get a good night's rest in for the sleep study! I hope that I don't have sleep apnea! Hubby's told me that I don't, but you never know. I haven't fell asleep during the day, except for the nap last night, since I've started Wellbutrin XL for my depression. I think I was sleeping so much before because of my depression. So, maybe I don't have it! I'm crossing my fingers, as I don't want to have to wear a CPAP. If I have to, I will, because I know if sleep apnea's left untreated, it can cause heart problems. Anyhow, I have a cat and a dog that like to chew on things. Usually the dog will chew when we're gone, so I can shut the door, but the cat is another story. He'll chew anything at anytime! I could just imagine him chewing a hole through one of the hoses as I'm wearing the CPAP! Guess I'll just have to keep extras on hand if it comes down to it! LOL!
Oh, the other day when I went to my rheumatologist, I weighed in at 430#. I changed my weight ticker, even though it was a two-pound gain. Hopefully, I'll stay on track and show a loss when I see my primary care physician next week!
Our exercise bike should be here on Monday. We made the room for it in the dining room. I don't know how much cycling I'll be able to handle at first, so I had ordered a new chair that I can do my chair aerobics in. That will be here, today! After that, I'll have no excuses to not exercise! Just procrastination, which I'm really good at. :(
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Stepped on the scale, yesterday, and it said I gained six pounds. I did not record it, because it could've been water in my system. I haven't been going to sleep during the day when my husband sleeps. I usually sit in bed on the laptop or read my weight loss surgery "Bible" they gave us at the orientation. Therefore, I drink water. I've also been sleeping at night, which I'm going to try and continue to do until after the sleep study next Saturday night. I seem to be more awake since I've been on the Wellbutrin, even though it's only been a few days.
I'm also not going to count my walking around the house from room to room as exercise for now, as it makes me feel like I can eat more calories! So, until the surgery, I am not going to count it on MyFitnessPal as calories burned.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
FACT: The only way to physically shrink your stomach is through surgical procedures. Your stomach expands to accommodate the amount of food that you eat and goes back to its original size once the food passes on to the intestines. The only effect cutting down on the amount of food will have on your stomach is your appetite but not the size of the stomach itself.
She was very happy that I am pursuing weight loss surgery. She tried to suggest a program that combined diet pills and diet to help me lose the 30 pounds that I need to before surgery, but it was very expensive! I explained that my PCP already offered to prescribe Phentermine but I refused. I don't like the side effects.
I did mention the lack of motivation that I have for school, though. It seems to have started around the same time she lowered my dose of Celexa. She was concerned about the high dose I was on before. She prescribed some Wellbutrin because she said it's likely that depression is causing it. She also said she'd like to see me in counseling and I told her I was going to look into it after the surgery. Right now I don't drive and have to rely on my husband or brother, which limits the days and time that I am open. Once I lose weight I should be able to fit behind the steering wheel of my car! I was able to before I traded my Taurus in, but I had to have the seat back and the steering wheel up as high as they would go! I wasn't comfortable with that setup at all! Anyway, I see counseling in my future! For now, I hope the Wellbutrin works!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
From what I've read, Medicare will only cover the Sleeve Gastrectomy if it's done laproscopically. So, if he has to open me up, they may not pay for it. I hope this isn't true and that he doesn't have to open me up. He made it sound like there was a possibility. I'm going to have to call tomorrow and make sure. I have to call and correct my insurance information, anyway.
Sad, because it tastes so good. It just doesn't agree with me, though.
Besides my tummy hurting from that, I've been blah. No motivation for anything. I see my Psychiatrist on Wednesday, so I'm going to ask her about upping my Paxil back to 40 mg. Ever since she lowered it, I've noticed my mood and motivation lowered.
Not much to say. Tuesday is my upper GI. Wish me luck!
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Then, it took forever for me to be able to schedule my upper GI and my sleep study, because the orders weren't done. So, I had to wait for the surgeon to get done with a surgery, for them to find out where my chart was and submit the orders. Finally got that done and it took forever to get a hold of the sleep study lab. Ugh! The doctor thinks I have sleep apnea, because I scored an 11 on some form they gave us. Anything above a ten, results in an automatic sleep study. But the sleep lab had it marked down for CPAP, as if I had one or needed one. I sure hope I don't, but if I do I hope I get it soon, because I have to use it for thirty days before I can have my surgery. My sleep study is November 10th, so at least it's sooner than later! *sigh*
At least all of my appointments are scheduled. I even scheduled a fourth month with my PCP for my medically supervised weight loss, just in case! I sure hope that I can cancel that appointment, though! ;-)
Trying to learn more about the VSG and other's experience with it. I found a few YouTubers who have had it done. Will have to watch their videos, as I was too busy to last night. Now I'm not tired and hubby is snoring away, so it's the perfect time to watch vlogs.
I did get a chance to make an appointment with the dietician from the bariatric center. I won't see her until December 4th, though. Still have more appointments to make, too! I'm procrastinating, but I really do have to wait until hubby wakes up to see when I can make the others because he drives.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
There are lots of appointments to be made, though. One with their dietician, another for a psych evaluation, an upper GI, and a sleep study. *sigh* That's a lot! Good news is, I only have to see my primary care physician for the medically supervised diet and not a nutritionist, also. Oh and the surgeon's physician assistant said it would be okay for me to use the PB2! I just got my delivery, today, but I still have to try it! :)
Tonight, I hope to go grocery shopping with my husband. If not, he'll end up going on his own after work Friday morning. I do have some things I want to look for. Like a mayo that's low fat and low sugar! I also might want to try some Greek yogurt.
I found this awesome product called PB2 that I am going to try in my soy milk, as I'm lactose intolerant and can't stand the taste of plain soy milk. Lactaid makes me sick, too, so that's out. Anyway, PB2 is low in fat, sugars, and calories and has protein! It comes in chocolate peanut butter, too! Oh yea, it's a powdered form of Peanut Butter, hence the name PB2. You can see some of the other products here: http://www.bellplantation.com/. PSST...I found a two-pack of both flavors of PB2 for a little over $10 on Amazon with free prime shipping! I would try the PB Thins, but I'm sure I'd just graze on them, anyway. I'm going to ask the surgeon's dietician if it'd be okay to use the PB2 after surgery, even though we aren't supposed to have protein shakes on this plan. The paper I have says we can supplement the protein content of our required two cups a milk a day with powdered milk, so I don't see how this would be different. It would still be below 10 grams of fat and 10 grams of sugar, along with the soy milk, so I shouldn't dump. Shouldn't being the big word. Hopefully, she'll give me the okay, or I'll just use it before surgery.
Not much more to say. My alarm's not set to go off for another two hours, so if I can, I'll take a nap. If not, wish me luck that I can stay awake all day. I see him at 11 am, but have to be there at 10:45 am to check-in. The drive is a long one, an hour and a half. Luckily, I have my hubby to drive for me, and he's snoozing away! At least he'll get some sleep! LOL!
Monday, October 22, 2012
I think I'm nervous about my appointment with the surgeon on Wednesday. I'm sure it'll go well, but what if he wants me to lose a LOT of weight before he considers doing the surgery. Maybe I'll be one of his biggest patients, as my BMI is pretty high. I think it's in the 80's, if I'm correct. :-/
As for the nutritionist not calling back, I left a message for my doctor about it. I'm sure she'll call me back at the end of her shift, as usual. I wish they'd give me the number to the NUT, so I could bug them! LOL! Hopefully, I will hear from them soon!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Had some frozen Greek yogurt today. Very high in sugar, so I won't be having that again! It was the banana peanut butter flavor by Ben and Jerry's and it was very good! It put me over my calories for the day, but tomorrow is a new day!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Anyway, I totally forgot everything what was presented to us at orientation when I heard that I only had to have two more visits with my primary care physician. I thought maybe I could have the surgery in January, but my friend reminded me that it does take time to go through insurance. They don't submit the paperwork to insurance until after you've fulfilled all the requirements. Then, I have some more classes and meetings to do! I have the binder they gave us and I will be reading it and taking notes ASAP. Right now, I can't read it because I have no book light and I don't want to wake hubby up from his sleep. The light bothers him.
Monday, October 15, 2012
So my appointment with my primary care physician is tomorrow afternoon. I must remember to take my paperwork, ask for some refills, and to ask for a referral to a nutritionist. Wednesday night is the weight loss surgery orientation. My husband and brother will be going with me. I'm glad to have their support, along with many online friends!
Next week I have an appointment with my rheumatologist. He will be happy to know that I am pursuing WLS, as losing weight will help my knees. Then, Wednesday morning is my first appointment with my bariatric surgeon. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect.
The morning of Halloween, I see my Psychiatrist. I'm also excited to tell her about the surgery and what her reaction will be.
So, this month is full and each month after is probably going to seem busy until at least after my surgery. Wish me the physical strength to handle all of this!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
I cheated and drank some Diet Coke. I also had some Coke Zero of my brothers. This is hard, because I'm getting headaches from the caffeine withdrawals. I am having hubby buy some Crystal Light Iced Tea packets that I'll be able to mix with my water. We'll see how that goes. Otherwise, I'm sweating to death, here, and have a headache as I have no caffeine until hubby gets home from work with groceries! Guess it's time to lie down!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
I drank my last Diet Coke, earlier. I am hoping to quit cold-turkey! It's probably part of the reason that I'm anxious -- no caffeine!
Another reason, is that the paperwork that I need to fill out before next week's orientation isn't here yet. Maybe it'll be here tomorrow!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
I am so excited about the possibility of having this surgery! It'll be a new lease on life for me! I need it! So far, everyone in my life has been positive about it for me! Which I need, as I refuse to hear anything negative about the surgery! The worst that could happen is that I'd die. To be honest, I'd rather die than not have this surgery! It is very hard living at the height/weight I am. I am over 420 pounds and only 5' tall(that's with shoes on, too...lol)! I won't know for sure what my exact weight is until I see my primary care doctor on the 16th! Anyway, life is very difficult for me and I don't want to live like this any longer than I have to!
I've been in frequent contact with one of my friends who had the surgery done around 10 months ago. She is doing spectacular! She went to the same bariatric center that I will be going to, as she referred it to me! We'll have different surgeons, though, which doesn't bother me at all. I have yet to meet Dr. Gould. He is from UW-Madison's bariatric center and I trust that Froedtert wouldn't hire a bad surgeon. My friend said Froedtert is like a five-star dealership(or something similar) when it comes to bariatric centers.
I honestly can't stop thinking about having this surgery. I am hoping that I only have to do the three months of supervised diet plan that Medicare requires before surgery. That would mean I could have the surgery as soon as February, if I get in to see the nutritionist ASAP! When I see my primary care physician on the 16th, I will have her refer me to one! I really wish I'd have jumped on the band wagon sooner, as I could've had the surgery closer to my birthday, in January. It'll have to be a belated birthday present to myself! LOL!
I have an appointment for my orientation on the 17th of this month and then I will meet with my surgeon, Dr. Gould, the following Wednesday. These are at Froedtert, in Milwaukee, WI, which a friend recommended to me. I've seen the results of her surgery and she is doing great! I believe her surgeon was Dr. Wallace.
I have paperwork to fill out and my doctor down here in Beloit, Dr. Tecarro, is going to help me fill it out on the 16th, as I've made an appointment with her already. I'll probably have her refer me to a nutritionist as my friend said that she needed to see one for six months before the surgeon approved her surgery. The nurse I talked to said at least three, for Medicare.
My primary insurance is BlueCross BlueShield through Walmart and they won't cover it(they won't cover anything obesity-related), but Medicare is my secondary and they said they will cover it.
Anyway, I am very excited for all of this to happen!